What do you think of when you think of your best friend? Is your relationship balanced? What we mean by this is that all the partners involved give value and time to each other. Unfortunately, relationships are rarely, if ever 50/50. In fact, depending on what is going on in each other lives it maybe that one gives more and the other less. There are times when your friend gives more when you are going through crises, and the roles may then reverse when things change. That is what a normal healthy friendship is. However, when one person in the relationship invests more emotionally consistently that problems arise.
In these one-sided relationships, it may fulfill a need at least temporarily. However, they will breakdown like a wall during an earthquake. The person who has invested the most, whether emotionally, physically, or economically, will be the one who suffers the most. They are usually angry, sad, depressed or any other type of emotion you can think of.
What are the Signs of an Unbalanced Relationship?
Every relationship, whether it is a friendship, a romantic relationship, or family connection goes through times when one person is more involved than others. When life is in flex mode, things happen and one friend may need the other for support, advice, etc., but it should be that the amount of time and resources each person invests should equal.
The above describes the ideal, but the majority of relationships are not the perfect balance. It is when relationships are consistently unbalanced, either from the beginning or as they develop, that they become problematic.
Here are some signs and symptoms of an unbalanced relationship:
- One person initiating calls, emails, or texts to get a response.
- One person failing to contact the other unless they need something from the other.
- One person is expected to be there, no matter what, at the whim of the other person. In other words, the other person sets the goals and the plans of the other.
- One person talks over the other, putting more emphasis on their problems than their friends.
- In an unbalanced friendship, one person seems to put the friendship low on their list of priorities while the other one is responsible to keep it going.
If any of the above seems to be a problem for you or a relationship you are in, perhaps it is time to put it to rest. An unbalanced relationship or friendship can drain the life right out of you. When you invest emotions and other resources in a relationship that give you nothing in return, it can cause your life undue pain, and can make it stagnate and lacking in vitality and joy. Let’s now take a look at possible ways to end a one-sided and unfulfilling relationship.
How to End a One-Sided Friendship
One of the good things about unbalanced relationships or friendships is that they are often easy and convenient to leave. This is especially true if you are the one putting in all the effort to keep it going. All you have to do is stop. Stop reaching out to that friend. Don’t call them. Don’t text them. Remove them from your social media platform. Most of the time, when you are the giver in the relationship, the taker will not even notice or care that they no longer receive communication from you. In fact, they will not care or notice.
If they do, you would be well advised to be cautious. You will need to decide if you really want to put in the work to keep the relationship or friendship going. Do you wish to continue to feed the taker the fodder they need to leech off you?
Granted, there are some narcissistic personalities who will contact you, and beg to be friends again. But, when you agree, they will quickly fall back into their old patterns of being to take whatever it is you give them. In effect, they are using you, and that is not what friendship is about. Ultimately, the decision is up to you whether you move on to more fruitful friendships where the balance is more equal.